what I wanted to say…

…in my Friday and weekend emails and “chats” to the 10% of my colleagues who cause 90% of the problems because they either ignore the grade submission deadline, discover they don’t know how to use the system until after the deadline and expect help on the weekend, or are just too bloody ODD to do anything properly and on time without having to be asked five times and then argue about it:  

 

I’m the parent that’s less fun

(the one that makes you brush your teeth)

I’m the teacher that’s more mean

(the one that won’t let you in the lab barefoot)

I’m the director that sends the angry emails

(the one that makes sure marks come in)

 

Or here’s another way of looking at it,

I’m the one that:

keeps the kids healthy,

the students safe,

and makes sure the system works.

 

Did you ever think that maybe I get tired of

     being the grown up?

     being the responsible one?

     being the bad guy?

and would like to not give a shit about

dental costs,

legal liability and

graduations,

either?

 

Did you ever stop to think that if you

JUST

DO

YOUR

FUCKING

JOB

then I won’t have to be the bad guy?

 

Let’s do the experiment and see what happens.

 

lie back and don’t think of English

This latest “vision statement”
is filling me with anguish –
it’s a crime against coherence,
an assault upon the language:

bastion…

…the view from outside.

For the other part of Frank’s double challenge this week: “Democracy”

The neighbours listen
to the screams and banging of
domestic violence
coming from the home of the
self-proclaimed world’s policeman.

The democracy show

The world is watching,
voyeurs, eagerly waiting
for episode 2.

no more thanks, I’m full

I’ve been trying to cut down on fatuousness
but it’s not easy this time of year,
as the platter of platitudes is passed along,
oozing with saccharine sweetness.
So with gratitude I’ll load my plate,
despite how hard they are to swallow,
then I’ll wash away the bitter after-taste
with a glassful of gin and bad attitude.

leadership training II

“Today, in pairs, let’s all discuss”
(just kill me now) “our team’s purpose.”
So many fatuous platitudes
(be still my bad, bad attitude)

If I must deal with shit…

Wreathed in the stench of
insincere mission, vision,
and values statements,
the hypocrisy
of auctioned off integrity,
the arrogant self-aggrandisement,
of impact and influence,
that nurtures nothing,
not even self-worth,
I day-dream of…