Category Archives: musings

a tear could attract birds of prey

I’m picking up on a line here from Ngina that really spoke to me “a tear could attract birds of prey”.  Although I’m not actually sure which homonym of tear she meant. 

It is not harsh words
or sad news.
It is unexpected kindness
in the midst of sorrow and cruelty
that tears a sob
gasping from my chest
and pours tears down my face.

Because tears could attract birds of prey –
honed talons spread
obsidian beaks waiting to gorge.
Or worse, carrion crows,
black rag-scraps fluttering and fighting
for a carcass morsel.

It is only in solitude
or in the company of kindness
that tears can be safely released.

 

Things are a bit shit at the moment. My father was recently taken into care because his dementia got so bad he started wandering and getting lost. My mother then had a fall and is now in hospital and doesn’t know where she is. One of my kids hates me and takes every opportunity to tell me how much – and it’s a lot, and he tells me continuously.  And we’re flooded in so I can’t get away from him. And most of my job is dealing with problems – people’s problems and problem people. I’m feeling assailed by negativity on all sides.

So at the campus end of year function today when a colleague thanked me for inspiring him I completely lost it and bawled my eyes out for the next half hour. Lucky it was online so no one could see me.

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some notes for Selma

Some notes for Selma on orbits, because I couldn’t put all this in a comment.

I can’t add a file other than an image, so here are my notes on orbits for Selma as a bunch of images. If they look fuzzy, just click on the image and it will display as a nice clear version. Continue reading

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good things only #2

I haven’t been writing lately, because it’s marking season and I haven’t had time or head space for anything else. But it’s all done except the late submissions now, so here is an animal edition, for my second good things only:

1. Driving home from school drop-off on Wednesday (campus is still closed although the Canberra lockdown has lifted), with the prospect of another day of nothing but marking, when crossing the road in front of me:

Of course I had to stop and get out and watch it finish crossing the road and trundle off into the bush.

No matter how urgent the marking, there is always time to watch an echidna. Echidnas are egg laying mammals with an electric sense in their nose. How cool is that? Continue reading

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the ghost kangaroo of Gundaroo

Reposting this for Halloween: 

Come gather round the campfire mates,
and we’ll share a tale or two.
And I’ll tell you one that’s true and straight,
of the Gundaroo ghost kangaroo. Continue reading

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Good things only #1.

Taking a leaf out of Sean’s book, I’m going to try some (non-toxic) positivity posts to try to boost my mood (struggling a bit lately). So here are some good things from my day, to remind me:

1. Coffee with a friend for the first time in months.  So nice to talk to a person who I don’t live with and who doesn’t want something/need me to solve a problem for them!
2. A senior colleague I respect saying he learnt a lot from teaching with me, in front of the whole school.
3. Relaxing in the sun with my darling oinky girl, even though she wouldn’t share the seat with me. She did bite me on the bum, but not hard, so I’m interpreting as affection.

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stacking stones / talking to Samuel

It is not, so much,
the loss of coffee with friends,
or family visits,
that is isolating.
Rather it is the loss of chance encounters,
a conversation with someone stacking stones –
that unexpected realisation of another’s humanity,
that reminds us of our own. Continue reading

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bronze bollocks

I’m a mouthy little specimen,
with pheromone breath enticing,
come, crawl up my labellum,
to my anther so inviting.
Let my petals guide your flight,
there’s just two, but sepals aid,
come on, come in, don’t fight,
the stigma’s worth the pollen paid. Continue reading

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nodding greenhood

No flamboyant, pampered,
and over-bred
hot-housed princesses,
potted and fed,
no, Continue reading

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peach pit

I am not a mystery.
I will lay out my history for you to peruse,
should you ask me to.
Ask me anything.
I will tell of promises given and broken,
losses and gains,
those deserved, those earned,
and those otherwise. Continue reading

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a poem for Marion

I am sending you a clover
for the sake of the stairs
that I imagine you sitting at the top of,
thousands of miles
from where I sit at the bottom of mine
to bring you luck so you never fall. Continue reading

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