2004 – 2022

all those moments
when the inside didn’t match the outside
when no one looked closely enough to see
all those moments
when I couldn’t say just what I felt
when I said nothing instead
all those moments
when we were together
when I was so alone
all those moments
of trying to understand
of trying to be understood
all those moments
of wondering why I am here
of wondering whether I can bear to stay
all those moments
will be lost in time like tears in rain
will be over as the rope snaps taut

 

This was written for the dVerse “words of departure” prompt, and to help me process a death I’ve been struggling to come to terms with. I’ve been wanting to write something about it, and while when I first saw the prompt I didn’t think I’d be able to write to it, it actually tuned out to be a way to begin processing this. The prompt required the inclusion of a quote from a selection. I chose “all those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain” from Bladerunner (one of my favourite films).        

34 Comments

Filed under poem

34 responses to “2004 – 2022

  1. Beautifully said, Kate. 💕

  2. Wow! That’s really heavy. I was hesitant to hit the like button, brilliant and moving.

    • Thanks Tone. I know what you mean – it feels weird hitting like on someone’s writing about something terrible, and I’ve thought twice about it. But I guess it’s an acknowledgement that you were there and you heard.

  3. Wishing you the best. And, good poem.

  4. glory daze
    perhaps
    anything
    to smile for now too

  5. Bladerunner! That line is like poetry itself. Good thoughts by the way! 💜

  6. Processing death takes time. I read just yesterday that grieving never ends….it simply changes.
    “all those moments
    when we were together
    when I was so alone”
    I found these words to be brilliantly said.

    • Thanks Lillian. I’ve lost a few friends in the last year, people around my own age so not so shocking. When it’s an 18 year old it hits really hard, even when you don’t know them so well.

  7. Rob Kistner

    Beautifully dark and final — brooding like Roy’s rooftop death scene, but you are a deep grey here. Excellent writing my friend,
    There is something that follows here, that I want to share from another rooftop.

  8. this is an excellent use of the prompt with the half line repeats (and the list of questions) that opens out to the full quote at the end – even more so because it has a very personal touch

  9. This is a beautiful response and so heart felt. The all those moments, repetition stood out for me. Then finally a catharsis or an ending. I hope the writing helped you in a way.

  10. Hehe, thank you for writing about my twenties, lol. I totally feel you!

  11. sanaarizvi

    Oh my heart this is poignant! The use of repetition here works so well at bringing the emotions out in the reader!

  12. This is very moving, Kate. Processing feelings of loss is never easy. Take care. ❤️

  13. The finality of the last line is a powerful ending to a moving write, Kate. I hope penning your feelings has been of some help to you.❤

  14. Such a powerful poem, Kate — and so brave of you to capture in words this grim subject that’s so hard to think about, let alone discuss.

    The death-knell finality of the last line is deftly reinforced by the three strong stresses of “rope snaps taught”. Well-crafted! Also, I like your use of the word “snaps” — audial as well as visual.

    This is a finely written poem on a literally life-or-death topic. I really hope it reaches a wide audience to help raise awareness about youth suicide and to bring, perhaps, a sense of catharsis to those who have suffered such a loss. _()_

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