I don’t understand why the humans persist
in constantly putting out more of this –
it’s chewy and dry and awful gritty,
at least add some butter, show some pity.
I’ve now eaten six of the horrible things,
but when I turn my back, one of them brings
another one out and puts it in place.
Honestly, it’s a shocking disgrace,
the things they expect a poor pig to eat.
But I will never admit defeat!
I’ll eat another six and then six more
of these hairy things they put at the door.
I’ve heard that fibre is good for one’s tum,
but I wish they’d consider what it’s like on my bum.
I really need to start buying doormats in bulk.