mum’s hairdressing salon

This is one I wrote shortly before I started keeping a blog, and never got around to posting. It’s not “live”, but I’m linking to dVerse OLN because it is a snippet of life out here, from that burning summer just before covid.

You, put the chair on the porch
You, get the big scissors
Okay, who’s first…
Oh come on…

Right, you! Sit!
(snip snip snip)
light brown hair drifts down
XXXXXXXXXXOw!
You’re fine, stop complaining –
anyway, that’s what happens when you fidget.
You – go get a bandaid!

Okay, you’re done
XXXXXXXXXXIt’s all itchy mum!
You – go get the hose

Right, next!

XXXXXXXXXXDon’t make it look like a bowl this time mum, pleeeaaase…
Fine, but your ears’ll look big
XXXXXXXXXXIf I still have any, his is bleeding!
Stop being a bloody princess
(snip snip snip)
dark brown hair sails off in the breeze

Right, last one. You – sit.
XXXXXXXXXXDon’t take too much off mum.
You look like a bloody haystack
…and what’s this stuff?
XXXXXXXXXXglue
Bloody hell…
D’you want a fringe?

XXXXXXXXXXyeah, okay mum
(snip snip snip)
yellow hair drops to the greying timber boards

Okay, strip off and stand in the garden
No! leave your boots on,
there might be a snake!
You, open the valve on the tank
XXXXXXXXXXow! it’s too hot!
Well, what d’ya expect, the hose has been in the sun
it’ll cool off,
anyway, you’re done…
Okay you’re done too…
right, last!
XXXXXXXXXXMMuuum! it’s too cold!
Stop moving!
Oh for crying out loud! Now you’ve fallen in the onions!
XXXXXXXXXXHa! look, she’s covered in dirt!
Right, let’s get the dirt off –
stand over the tomatoes now
they need some water.

you – go turn the valve off
you – put all the clothes in the wash
you – go tell your father it’s his turn

XXXXXXXXXX…hey mum, dad says no,
XXXXXXXXXXnot unless he can do yours first.
three smirking faces
XXXXXXXXXXwell mum?

34 Comments

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34 responses to “mum’s hairdressing salon

  1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. What fun. Sounds so Aussie. I love it.

  2. Aww I love this!! So natural and lively! πŸ’œβ˜Ί

  3. My father was the hairdresser when I was a kid, buzz cutting me and my older brother in this tall ice cream shop chair we had in the kitchen. He was matter of fact and not beyond nicking our ears if we fidgeted. Loved this!

  4. Utterly enjoyable – I can picture it clearly.

  5. writingwhatnots

    Like Ron says, I could picture this scene as if I was there. What a great snippet (sorry) of your childhood.

  6. Beverly Crawford

    Many a home-style haircut in the “old days”. Your story is a family treasure!

  7. Oh I love this … a huge grin on my face. My Grandfather used to cut my hair which was a terrifying ordeal for me the little girl. However, he did a great job and never ‘nicked’ me in the process.

    • Thanks Helen πŸ™‚ I was always a little scared of my grandfather, because he told me that he had hiccoughs once and didn’t like it, so he never had them again. πŸ˜€ As a child I believed him, so saw him as sort of superhuman that he could choose never to have hiccoughs!

  8. Oh this is a lot of fun – I can just picture the scene!

  9. Lol what fun! I have been giving my kids haircuts during the lockdown.

  10. Enjoyed this. Fun all the way. I cut my own hair now, looking in the mirror. Keeps going zig zag, one side long, the other side a bit short. I have got myself a new hair style, which no salon can match.

  11. Oh this is fun, Kate! πŸ˜† How did your hubby do with your hair?

  12. Absolutely hilarious, Kate! πŸ˜€ I can see the whole scene playing out. What a joyfully rugged outdoorsy life you lead. I love the practicality of your mum here:
    “Right, let’s get the dirt off –
    stand over the tomatoes now
    they need some water.”
    And a great punchline – brilliant! πŸ™‚

  13. Love the way the dialogue tells the story. Brave “mama”….or maybe they were the brave ones. πŸ˜‰

  14. A crowning glory, Kate! x

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