We covered our arses with paperwork
but we got a bit carried away,
what with HR, Disclosure and Ethics
there’re new forms to fill in each day!
The Management team’s getting bigger,
and I’m sure that they all earn their pay,
because all these new forms that we’re getting,
come with training to fill the right way.
Perhaps we’re becoming transparent,
and I think perhaps that that may
be the reason that I’m being covered
in a thick layer of papier-mache.
Between attending training on how to fill in forms, and then filling in the forms, and then re-submitting the forms because there was an error in the template provided (yes, that happened), meetings to review the contents of the forms, meetings about whether we should have more forms (seriously, and why am I the only one who said “no, we shouldn’t”?) I don’t actually have time left to do my job in working hours!
I’m gonna move to New Zealand and go live with Psycho Sam, he understands how the system works. Or perhaps I’ll do a Eugene Tooms and make myself a cocoon from strips of paperwork and emerge in 30 years when everyone has forgotten that I never submitted the forms…