calling the sun to the sky (pantoum)

I wanted to write a pantoum yesterday for the dVerse prompt “coming full circle“, but between work and kids I just didn’t have the head space for something that long or structured. But with a whole have-to-free day I’ve indulged myself this morning with a second coffee and some writing time. Here is this morning’s attempt, inspired by Laverton’s 0600 reveille:Β 

The old cock crows.
Stretching his neck up
to start the new day,
he calls the sun to the sky.

Stretching her neck out
the pig trundles forth,
called by the sun in the sky.
Now she wants her breakfast.

The pig trundles up
to the kitchen door,
where the children eat their breakfast
of buttered toast and scrambled eggs.

At the kitchen door
mum throws scraps to the pig
of buttered toast and scrambled eggs,
as the children rush out the door.

Mum throws scraps to the pig
and feeds the hens.
Now the children have rushed out the door,
her own day can begin.

The hens are fed,
all is quiet again
and her own day now begins.
Then the old cock crows.

All is quiet except,
stretching his neck up,
the old cock crows
β€œI have called the sun to the sky”.


Filed under poem

15 responses to “calling the sun to the sky (pantoum)

  1. πŸ‘ŒπŸ»πŸ‘ŒπŸ»πŸ‘ŒπŸ»

  2. Very clever line adjustment for a lovely picture of farm like domesticity. I love the rooster calling the sun to the sky. Gives them a power I had never bestowed on them.πŸ™‚ I do love watching them crow. It seems like such a huge effort. Their necks arch and then kind of flatten … like they’re puffed out. πŸ™‚

  3. πŸ“A wonderful taste of morning, Kate!

  4. Beautiful work. I like the idea of the rooster summoning the sun πŸ’š

  5. This is really good. I was unaware of this poetic form, but found it compelling as it drew me into the slowly cycling scene. (I don’t have the patience or discipline to learn and practice such forms, so good for you.) And the fact that you didn’t just stagger the same repeated lines but altered and evolved them as they progressed gave the poem more vibrancy and life. I’m going to read it again now.

  6. Oh. Thank you. I feel so honoured!!

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