now is my autumn…

It’s my birthday tomorrow… so I ordered some more green-apple hair colour as a present to myself – I’m not greying at the temples, I’m greening. Now I just need to find my reading glasses so I can read the instructions… 

Now is my autumn, and I’m discontent,
when I contemplate the money I’ve spent
on all these little jars of stuff,
perhaps it’s time to say ‘enough’!
“Intensive replumping” on my face?
I’ve plumped in every other place!

Despite the creams cremes I’ve still got bags
beneath my eyes, and jowls that sag.
Now I’m standing in the aisle debating
if my face needs re-hydrating.
And what’s “cellular filler” – is that for the car?
Why does it cost $50 a jar!?

And are there five or seven signs,
of aging? This one says there’s nine!
I’m getting lost in the verbosity –
is it luminance or luminosity?
And how’s that done – specks of glitter?
perhaps a dose of gamma-emitter?

This glass eye-dropper full of serum,
– don’t put it in your eyes, just near ‘em –
restores your eyes’ vitality
(at the cost of your liquidity).
It leaves my eyes all bright and red.
Ooops.. Don’t put it in your eyes, it said.

Is it age causing confusion,
or an advertised delusion
that smearing this goop on my face
will help me age with youthful grace?
The crows’ feet deepen round my eyes,
as I contemplate illusion’s price.

These lines are clearly here to stay –
but I have found a clever way
to convince myself that they are gone –
I just won’t put my glasses on!
With the autumn on my face unseen,
I admire my hair – dyed fresh spring green!