Today’s lesson, from the revelations of Kate of XXXX, chapter 3:
The great beast ascendeth,
the seven-headed dragon
with its ten working groups,
shaking the campus
so that one tenth-part of the institution fell –
full seven hundred men (and some women) cast out.
And the great beast,
abomination and father (or mother) of abominations,
with the name Euphemism upon its heads,
its forked tongue flicking,
spewed forth its filth –
those words made whores
with the angels of the chancellery:
And the beast had no numbers,
because it had no ears to hear a call,
so no numbers giveth it.
But here is wisdom.
Let he (or she) who has understanding
know it by its letters.
And the letters of the beast are:
H and R.
So today’s leadership training session started innocently enough with the motivational statement “Beyoncé has 24 hours in a day. And you do too! What will you achieve with yours?” Clearly, I realised too late, an attempt to disarm me by making me roll around laughing (fortunately my camera and mic were off).
But then the scuttling and scaly, slimy and slithering, little euphemisms – every one venomous, but not honestly venomous in their own right, oh no, venomous like a reptile with a mouth full of toxic bacteria – started appearing. It was bad enough when we had “voluntary” redundancies, when certain people were to told to apply or face “performance management”, and we all knew what “restructuring” meant – everybody is sacked. Now we have an “out-placement program” to fire people.
And putting “my” in front of everything does not give me a sense of ownership, of personal investment, it just makes me think of the Cat from Red Dwarf!
OMG – maybe leadership training is a cunning way of getting people like me to resign! It’s cheaper than paying me to go away (performance management)…
Oh, and I do sincerely apologise if I have offended any Christians by my use of Revelations. Please consider my imitation as flattery – it’s just so very apt at the moment.
Here endeth the rant.